


Slingshot

by Willowlark



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Action, Combat, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Parody, Slingshot - Freeform, Spoilers, chapter 10, sealed forest, yeet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:08:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21605827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowlark/pseuds/Willowlark
Summary: During the battle in the Sealed Forest, Felix has a plan. Lysithea is not amused. Crackity crack Crack
Kudos: 10





	Slingshot

**Author's Note:**

> This is set during the finale of Chapter 10, so spoilers? I doubt anyone's reading fire emblem fanfic and hasn't at least finished White Clouds but shrug

Lysithea swore, launching a burst of Miasma at another solider. The spearman went up in a burst of dark magic, and she knew she’d be hearing his screams in her dreams for weeks. Still, The professor was AWOL and this Solan character had them surrounded. Claude had pulled them all to the edge of the Sealed Forest, hoping that the trees would cover their rear. Solan, the… what, vampire? Ex-teacher? She wasn’t sure, was slowly approaching them, magical power emanating off him. 

She hadn’t mentioned just how powerful he was to Claude yet. She was the one who studied and practiced tactics with Claude, and even though he beat her eight out of ten times, she was skilled enough to know they were in a really bad spot. The Knights of Seiros were who knows where, Rhea and Seteth wouldn’t leave the Monastery (and whatever chance they would have disappeared with the Professor, Lysithea thinks), and they were utterly surrounded. They were already between a rock and a hard place, Claude didn’t need to know the rock was a magically propelled boulder and the hard place was hell itself. 

She loosed another spell, basically waiting for the Death Knight himself to show up at this point. Each spell she cast took down another one of Solan’s troops (not the time to be proud of herself, but one has to find silver linings) but she could feel her power waning. She used her stronger spells already, to clear out Kronya’s demonic beasts at the start of the battle. How long has this battle gone on for, anyway? Claude and Ignatz usually had a good track of time on the battlefield, but she didn’t dare distract them. The two archers were back to back, each covering a wide arc in front of them. Hilda and Raphael fought ahead of them, able to focus entirely on crushing skulls while the archers covered their backs. Lysithea spared a glance for Marianne while she incanted her last Swarm Z spell, the bluenette was crouched a ways behind Claude and Ignatz, healing a nasty wound Lorenz took when he, yet again, ignored Claude’s plan to prove Claude’s tactics were ‘unbecoming of a noble’. It was truly no wonder he got along so well with Ferdinand. 

Lysithea’s Swarm Z coils to her fingertips and she unleashed it, letting the spell slow the oncoming forces long enough for her to catch a breath. The sword on her back, a necessity Claude and the Professor both forced her to carry, weights heavier and heavier as her remaining spells dwindles. If it came down to it, she knows how to wield the blade… but she couldn’t match the strength of the weakest soldier. At that point, she’d only be a liability… The only thing she’s strived never to be. She realizes she’s grinding her teeth. She tsks audibly, ready to turn back to the fight when a voice comes from behind her. 

“Cake Gremlin” Felix, a recent addition to class, strides up from behind her. Marianne must have finished healing his wounds in between Lorenz’s, the self-proclaimed swordmaster had been right beside the Professor fighting Kronya and took quite a few hits to give the Professor the chance to eliminate her. 

“Now is really not the time for your terrible attitude Felix” she bites off, scanning the edge of her Swarm spell for the first soldier to break the line. 

“You have that Warp spell still, don’t you?” He says, ignoring her insult. She pauses for a moment, not sure if she wants to dignify him with a response. She recalls just how screwed she was thinking they were, and that any plan is better than ‘pray the Professor comes back’, so she twists slightly to look at him while still having an eye on the battlefield.

“Yeah, I do.”

“I want you to warp me up the cliff,” he says, not an ounce of humor in his voice. 

“You… what?” The cliff he was referring to was the cliff Solan was looking down on them from, probably 20 to 30 feet above the courtyard they were making their last stand in, where the Professor had disappeared. There were half a dozen soldiers up there and if that wasn’t enough, Solan himself. The only way to get up the cliff were the two pathways to the east and west, where the enemy force was sieging them from. If he got up to the cliff, he’d be completely surrounded, by Solan and his elite guard, and cut off from any support by the rest of the class. “You must be insane!”

“No, I’m simply tired of this fight. We must get to finding the Professor, and that Solan must be slain before we can do so” Felix says, as if he wasn’t suggesting suicide to do it.

“You can’t forfeit your life like that!” 

Felix gives her a sideways look and cocks an eyebrow. “I have no intention to give my life for anyone. I’ll slay Solan, and we’ll move on.”

“Like it’d just be that easy? He bested the Professor!” 

“A fact I will surely remind the Professor of for years to come, yes, but that was clearly a surprise attack. In real combat, I’ll crush that old man.” Felix shrugs. He shrugs, and Lysithea can’t help but sigh.

“Are you hearing this Claude?” She shouts. She turns to the remnants of her spell, firing off Nosferatu to pick off a soldier who wasn’t caught in the slow down effect from the Swarm. It buys them another… goddess, few seconds? Her sense of time was completely lost. Felix draws his blade next to her, but doesn’t make a move to step in front of her. Smart man, she thinks to herself. She doesn’t need protecting. 

“It’s absolutely crazy, but quite frankly-“ Claude starts to yell back, cutting out with a grunt as a soldier gets past Hilda and charges him. Claude ducks the swing and rolls forward into the swordsman’s legs, causing him to fall flat on his face. Claude spins on a heel and jabs an arrow into the back of the man’s neck, killing him instantly. “I’m a little too busy too scheme right now, might as well do it!” He finished. “Give em hell Felix!”

Lysithea gaps at her house leader, the boy she respects for his always tactical mind. Maybe the disappearance of the Professor threw him off more than he lets on… Something to investigate, if they live.

“Well?” Felix tilts and folds his arms, having the gall to look impatient. 

“ggghhh-FINE!” Lysithea shouts, all composure lost. “It was nice knowing you Felix, I’ll see you in hell!” She reaches for the Warp spell, bringing the magic to the forefront of her mind. “I don’t know if I have enough power to launch you that far Felix, so I’m going to try something… well… equally ridiculous.”

“I can handle it,” Felix says, crouching and sheathing his blade. He keeps his hand on the blade, ready to draw with a moment’s notice. 

“Leonie, cover me!” Lysithea shouts over the swelling magical power around her. She sees the redhead ride through the area Lysithea was defending and turns her focus back to the magic. Her body pulses as her crests flair, the power coursing through her. She does calculations in her head, the magic circle for warp shifting as she changes the parameters of the spell on the fly. Her mind strains to harness the magic enhanced by her crests, adjust the spell, and keep breathing all at once. 

“You ever use a slingshot as a kid?” She says, without looking at Felix.

“A few times,” Felix replies, somewhat confused.

“Well, now you’re going to know what it feels like to be the rock.” Felix’s eyes shoot open as Lysithea barks the command words for Warp. Three rings appear in front of Felix and a fourth below his feet. There’s a pulling sensation, pulling him down towards the ground as if by every atom of his being. He grits his teeth as the pressure starts to become unbearable on his shoulders.

“Plus!” Lysithea yells and she falls backward as if uttering the word pushed her back. Felix launches through the three magic circles before him in a stuttering, blinking motion, as if being warped short distance between them and keeping all the momentum of his instantaneous jump. He doesn’t scream, but he does let out a war cry as his body launches from the final magic circle, his body flying through the air like it was shot from a cannon. He lands just past the edge of the cliff, rolling a half dozen times to slow down. The rest of the class loses sight of him as he does. 

Lysithea, panting from magical exertion and general exasperation, shifts up to her knees from where she fell on her bum. She can’t muster the energy to stand up. She stares at the cliff, waiting to see Felix launched off the cliff by a dark magic spell and fall to his death. Something she’d have to share the blame for. She catches Leonie being pushed closer to the forest by the enemy troops and she knows she has to get up, help cover Leonie before the knight in training is slain but she’s just so drained…

“Surrender now, and we’ll let you live” a voice calls out from the cliff. It’s not the voice of Solan though. Felix stands on the edge, kicking the body of Solan off the cliffside into the courtyard. The villain’s troops freeze up, looking at each other in confusion. Lysithea can’t help but laugh. 

It is in that moment that a slash appears in space, right in the center of the courtyard. A golden blade retreats back into the cut, before the Professor leaps out from the cut in spacetime, hair now a mint green with eyes to match. The Professor looks around, blinking. 

“What’d I miss?” 

**Author's Note:**

> It's barely Crack but I pulled this bullshit on chapter 10 last night and just loved the mental picture. 
> 
> The spell Lyssi creates is called Warp Plus, though the affection name Slingshot is kept for it. The nonsensical spell is used in the battle of Gronder Field in 1185 to quickly capture the center of the conflict, allowing for the Alliance army to claim complete victory over the Kingdom rebels and Imperial army. 
> 
> Mock game stats, Slingshot moves a unit as far as you want (but you have to have line of sight), and the unit takes damage equal to the number of spaces moved.


End file.
